Clintons Propose 63 New States Admitted to Union

The Clinton Campaign has proposed Admitting 63 New States in to the Union. By March 4. Details of  the "New Plan" were sketchy as conflicting reports emerged from  the Clinton campaign during a raucous Sunday News Conference broadcast from Wellesley College. The New Clinton Solution would have Wellesley achieve at least one Statehood for their Alumni Association. Other proposed States include HowardWolfsonia, the Commonwealth of Lanny, and Haroldickesaware. Clinton Staff immediately declared that all concievable States should be allowed to vote Prior to determining the Democratic Nomination..

Passing by the camera pool, Mandy Grunwald could be seen like a boa constrictor with legs atop the shoulders of a blue faced man she was choking while pummeling him with the heel ends of her shoes. The gentleman was clearly in distress yet Ms. Grunwald just Buddy Rich-ed the shit out of him. One senior Clinton aide was kind enough to interupt his call from a pay phone nearby to confirm the pending victim as Mark Penn.. Rebuffing thanks for the info, The Clinton Staffer said "No biggie, I'm  on hold anyways..Hey - you know if Obama's hiring?" Penn appeared to rally briefly. The Pummeling Ms. Grunwald missed neither a beat or a screech before they tumbled off-stage...