Libby TV Stolen, Burglars Foiled

I. Lewis Libby and his wife - Mrs. Mr. Scooter's wife - came home after a VERY bad day yesterday and found that their TV was stolen along with audio components and a state of the art Smart House Remote.  Police reported this kind of thing often happens while homeowners attend family funerals. Ironically, a small platoon of neighbors not on  TV assembled and quickly found some of the equipment nearby.

Fresh from the ordeal from his own fingerprinting and mugshots, Libby personally arrived curbside to gather his belongings but was turned back. He expressed frustration after being being told that the matter is part of an ongoing criminal investigation. "Look, I only want to secure my stuff", Mr. Libby was heard to say before he got into the back of a White SUV and was driven off.

"Reminds me of O.J." one neighbor said. More...

A long suspected looter in the neighborhood was interviewed by the police and released. Other high profile suspects nearby were interviewed,  but they too were quickly released, despite information divulged from neighboring Senior Administration Officials who implicated the suspects at the scene of the crime.

Since the suspected evil doers have all offered mutual alibis for each other, there is no underlying crime. Consequently,

Mr. and Mrs. Libby now find difficulty in getting their TV back and strangely enough have found themselves trapped in multiple versions of a bizarre episode of the Twilight Zone.

Though no crime occurred it is subject to appeal. Though it is a personal criminal matter, they perhaps need the gadgetry to "get off" as they watch themselves on TV.......

The Libbys say it is difficult to get any answers from the authorities responsible for their jurisdiction. In a released statement, the Libby's expressed "Dissapointment" with the media who they say have unfairly represented the views of their adversaries.

Being there attorney, a tearful Ted Wells, gave a much stronger statement on television(s):

"No Underlying crime?!!?
No suspects have been charged!
What The FUCK?!

Scooters Flat Screen, the receiver, his fuckin' DVD - it's just sittin' out there in plain view.

That motherfucker's a 50 inch TV!"

"Give them back to me." Wells then blubbered on camera.

For their part, outcry was strong among the suspect community who  allege  official misconduct and malicious prosecution. They now have filed a formal complaint, and denied any vice was involved among the  suspects. They have vowed to take the matter all the way to the Supreme Court if necessary.

Wells was asked about his emotional plea on Libby's behalf.

"Fuck Scooter." Wells said.

He continued, "I said give me the flat Screen."
"I'm not workin' pro bono for his crooked little dumb ass."